five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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