...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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