He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again