He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?