do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf