Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
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she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.