Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.