Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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