What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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