Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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