Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Vodka?
Forever.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
