if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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