I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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