i permit you to call me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
