wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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