69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
