i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
