the new term for farting is butt boxing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
try to milk me bitch
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
