I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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