The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
