i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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