So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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