I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
