At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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