Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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