Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
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I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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