And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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