One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize