Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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