Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
