the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You were trust falling into bushes
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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