Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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