I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
be right there i have to get my cape
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
