I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize