i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
