It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
