The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
