what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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