It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
