Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My liver just had a heart attack.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
