sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
