Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
lets start a swedish sibling band together
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
