WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
