oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
