Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My life is pants optional.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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