He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
