I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
