I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
