They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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