remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
