sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
