on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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