Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
