If i come over, it means nothing
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
