Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
