I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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