Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Bring me that man meat
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
