do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
