people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
