I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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