You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
